It does not seem possible but it has been 31 years since my life changed and my world was turned upside down. One moment in time single handily shaped my future and dictated who I would become. A 16 year old naive girl with not a care in the world. I had a part time job, a car and an on-again off-again boyfriend; I was content.
Then the unspeakable happened and everything changed. Still a kid myself, I became a mother. With no idea what I was going to do, I was scared to death. I had no idea how I was going to survive this, how I was going to raise a child. Worst of all, I had disappointed my family and changed the course of my life in an instant. (Read more about being 16 and pregnant). Many mistakes were made along the way and I could have been a better mother and role model but I did the best I knew how, and, we survived.
I ended up raising two amazingly beautiful daughters who are smart, independent and creating wonderful futures for themselves. I am so proud to be their mamma.
Fast forward 27 years….. that little girl tells me on Christmas that she is pregnant; and while I was extremely happy for her, I was a little less thrilled about becoming a grandma. I was too young to be a grandma, I felt like it would make me older somehow. My daughter sensed my apprehension and offered to have the baby call me Nana… hmm, “Nana”? Well now that doesn’t sound so bad! Boy, I had no clue what that title would come to mean to me. I had no idea that there was this new kind of love coming for me that would knock me right off of my feet. I had no clue that my world would change once again.
A Boy or Girl?
By March, there was a gender reveal party, wait what? Boy was I out of touch- apparently everyone does this now! There was a big box decorated in blue and pink and we all stood around and waited for the big moment. My daughter and son-in-law opened the box and pink balloons floated into the sky; I was going to have another beautiful little girl in my life! Next came the baby shower and by this time I was fully committed to being this baby girl’s Nana.
Finally, it was August and the day my little girl was going to become a mommy; she was going to experience the miracle of motherly love and a bond that cannot be broken or even explained. That day my daughter gave me the most amazing gift I had ever been given, she allowed me to witness the birth of my first grandchild- I witnessed as Peyton Alice Sawyer changed the world for all of us in that one moment. As I watched my granddaughter, a sweet beautiful girl, take her first breath I became overwhelmed with emotion. At that moment, I knew that I was going to love this little girl with my whole heart and forever be there for her.
My Baby and My first Grand Baby!
In the days and weeks that followed, I just could not get enough time with her. I was so infatuated and proud; I shared pictures and videos of her with anyone who would look. It had happened without hesitation; I had become a grandmother. It is the most amazing feeling in the world, one I never quite understood when others would speak about this chapter of life but now I not only completely understood it, but I embraced it full-heartily.
“I had Become a Grandmother.”
I love my sweet girl so much; she brings so much joy and happiness to my life. Even on those days that seem to be dark and lonely she can bring a ray of sunshine and instantaneously lighten my soul. I will forever be grateful that I get to be her Nana and I will cherish every moment I have with her.
In just a few short weeks from today, my second granddaughter will be born, and I will once again get to witness the miracle of life. No matter your age or circumstance, when the time comes that you are given this gift of becoming a grandparent embrace it and savor every second. Life is too short to worry about anything but what truly matters; and to me being a Nana is at the top of the list! I’ll never be able to tell my grand babies what they mean to me but each time I see or talk to them I will always remind them with our little saying……..
“I Love You to the Moon & Back and Around the World Again and Again Little One”